a little bit of backround

I know that some of you who may have read my other blog posts may think I havent been a Christian for very long. One reason someone could have come to that conclusion is that I have written about learning stuff in my faith that some of you may have learned a long time ago.

To clear that up, I became a Christian when I was 5 years old. You would think that after twenty eight years of being a Christian, I would be way past the issues of faith and understanding and learning that I am at right now. But in the twenty eight years of being a Christian I have stumbled, and faltered, and had setbacks of faith, especially when I moved away to college. As most Christians moved away to school, they may have found a local church close to campus, and participated in Christian activities, within the school or outside of the school. Thats not what I did. When living back home, I was totally into church and bible study, community service, youth groups, and high school Christian groups. So when I moved out on my own at college, I sort of let go, of God's hand and after looking back, I see that is the time where he carried me, when there was only one set of footprints in the sand. Which has happened more than once in my life but I digress.... I began to question God, I even started to doubt, I prayed for signs that he was there and at the time, I never did see God reveal himself to me. But after college I look back and I can see all those times that God showed himself to me, I just didnt see it at the time. I have even had setbacks in my relationship with God since then, but I am learning and growing in faith. And what I may say may indicate ignorance of Christ is not ignorance, but it is immaturity. I have studied the Bible and much protestant theology. Although I have always had some of my own original theological views. I am still a little immature, and although I have had much adversity in my life, I feel as though my immaturity in my faith and walk with Jesus could be because I walked away from God (so i thought) but my doubt only led me to find out that my faith was strengthened when It was time. Now I have a lot of living to do, and with living comes learning. And by learning you grow in relationship with Christ. so I guess I would say to you who are young in your Christian Walk, if you come to a point of doubt, its okay to question because you may learn. but please dont walk away from God because it will really set you back in your maturing with Christ. when you go away to college or move to a new town, find a church (the first one may not be the right one) but find a church, and Christian groups and activities. you dont want a set back in your life with God.

Faith in the face of adversity

It is easy to praise GOD when things are going great. But it's not so easy when things are not so good or even worse when life sucks. At the first of the year I had experienced a very nerve racking, angering problem with my insurance company. Time after time, I talked to and was put on hold by about 20 different people trying to resolve a very simple issue. I was told more than once that "We are sorry that person gave you incorrect information" as I was told more than once my issue was resolved and then found out it wasn't resolved. I prayed and prayed with faith and continued praying that my issue would be resolved while praising GOD still in the midst of this adversity. But time after time it wasnt getting resolved, and at one point I stopped praising GOD, I began cursing at him, I went as far as to tell GOD that I was angry with him and I told him that he sucked, once the anger began to subside, I asked him "Father why have you forsaken me? Why have you failed to help me?" And so I questioned what good my faith was, and what good is praising GOD if my prayers werent being answered. As the situation with the insurance company was trying my patience, I knew not to pray for patience, I learned a long time ago not to pray for patience because then GOD will really put you to the test to learn patience. so..................................... I went on, bordering on impatience and worry to the point that I felt physically ill and exhausted. But my wife began to speak to me, telling me that praying in faith is not like having a magic Geenie, I then became distracted while examining my faith and trying to figure out what faith really was, if it was not what I thought it was, what was it? And I began to realize that I thought that having faith and praising GOD in the midst of adversity meant that GOD would help me just how I wanted him to if I belived enough. (Which is partly due to the fact that usually when I pray, things happen.)
So as the grim situation with the insurance was coming along, and I was getting promised that the issue would be resolved, I examined what faith really meant: and to me I discovered Faith is the belief that GOD is there, He cares, and He Is In Control. I learned that Faith can move mountains, but it will be moved in GOD's way, and in GOD's time, not ours. And I learned that praising GOD during tough times was not a guarantee of things going my way, I learned that praising GOD through adversity is about aknowledging that He is Righteous and Faithful. I have a feeling this is not my last lesson from GOD that includes adversity, but I'm willing to go through the hard times in order to learn more about GOD and grow in faith.